WHAT WAS YOUR BEST / WORST TIME WITH WHISKEY?
Well, not a fan of Whiskey…I know, gasp. I secretly call it Piss-key, because it kinda looks and tastes like, well, uh..piss. But, I do have a very fond memory of the infamous unlimited brunch mimosas. One fine Sunday, after about, let’s say, six of them, my friend and I decided it would be a brilliant idea to go to Bed Bath and Beyond, to what, you ask..to buy a scale. Yes, after a NYC brunch with unlimited mimosas, we thought it a brilliant idea to buy a scale. And so we did. And we thought this was very justified…for some reason or another. Got back on the train to go uptown, fell asleep, ended up going all the way to Van Cortland Park on the 1 train, missing my stop by about 50 blocks. Waking up and wondering why someone had put a scale in our hand. Um. Weird. Rude. It took us the whole trip back down to Inwood, to realize that we had bought the scale earlier that day. We went back to my apartment, took the scale out of the box, and proceeded to step on it. Nothing. It didn’t work. Oh, we were so mad. How could a reputable store such as Bed Bath and Beyond have a faulty scale! We presently got the drunkies… (drunk munchies) and lost track of the scale scandal. After about two hours, I decided to give the scale a try, a little more sober… And then it dawned on me. No batteries. Duh. Oh mimosas. How you make me so delightfully dumb!
WHAT WAS THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS DREAM YOU HAD FOR YOUR LIFE?
The most outrageous dream I had was when I was about in second grade- We had to do one of those projects where we write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I couldn’t decide between being a doctor, ballerina, and an astronaut. So I devised a plan. I would be a doctor here on earth and then also be an astronaut so I could fly to the moon and give dance performances for the other life forms out there. Because of course, they would appreciate ballet. Needless to say I got an A for the project, but my teacher hastened to explain to me that in real life, I had to just pick one. Joke’s on you, my dear teacher, I’m an actress! I can be all three!
WHEN LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO LIVE AFTER THE APOCALYPSE, WHAT MAKES WILLIAMSBURG SO APPEALING?
Oh, dear Williamsburg, a macrocosm of my beloved Oberlin College. Long live booze, combat boots ten sizes too big, ridiculously gigantic rimmed eyeglasses (usually red), the occasional shower, optional shaving, screw-the-system ideology, and most of all, living as ironically as humanly possible just 'cause- I mean, what more could you possibly want in your post-apocalyptic world?
BIO
Jessica Rose Futran is elated to be part of Whiskeypants! She recently made her Off-Broadway and stilt-walking debut in Mind the Art Entertainment’s NYCFringe Encore production of Fatty Fatty No Friends (Fast). NYC credits include Revival (Eve) at The Players Theater Annual Boo Festival, The Dream Vault Cycle (dancer) at La Mama, and internationally renowned Scottish rapper, S. Cree’s hit music video Ballerina (hip-hop dancer). Theater highlights include: Sally (Sally), El retablo de maese Pedro (Trujaman), Man of La Mancha (Antonia), Beauty and the Beast (Belle), Sweeney Todd (Johanna), My Favorite Year (KC Downing), and Little Women (Jo). She has performed at the Kennedy Center and numerous times for the U.S. Department of Education in Washington, D.C. Jessica is trained in ballet, hip-hop, modern, jazz, and Bollywood dance, and currently studies at the T. Schreiber Acting Studio. She holds a Bachelors of Music in Vocal Performance from the Oberlin Conservatory of Music.
WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN:
A LAND WHERE THE WHISKEY IS ALWAYS FLOWING.
HERE PEOPLE LIVE IN BLISSFUL PEACE UNDER THE TENURE OF WHISKEY PANTS,
THEIR BELOVED MAYOR.
SINCE "THE EVENT",
THEY'VE FOUND IT'S DANGEROUS TO DREAM,
LEAVING MOST TO PREFER TO LIVE THEIR DAYS IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR.
BUT NOW,
THEIR WAY OF LIFE IS THREATENED BY AN AMBITIOUS NEWCOMER
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD
WHO SEEKS
TO SOBER
THEIR PERPETUAL HANGOVER.
WILL HE RUIN EVERYTHING?
OR WILL HE DISCOVER THAT
IN WILLIAMSBURG,
IT'S EASIER TO DRINK?
Needless to say I got an A for the project, but my teacher hastened to explain to me that in real life, I had to just pick one. Joke’s on you, my dear teacher, I’m an actress! I can be all three!